Well this year my birthday was on Saturday, October 28th the same day it's been every year since my birth year. Some people in my community would say I am not a human being with feelings. Well I say they are the ones with the jealousy problem. For instance you all know what happened last year on my birthday. A refresher the group therapy I was in decided to celebrate someone elses birthday on my actual birthday day. It was a big emotional mess because they weren't even going to let me celebrate mine at all. Just the other person who's birthday was on a non group day. That person could have chosen any other day, but no she was jealous so she chose my day knowing that they only celebrate one at a time. Ousting me claiming they have planned it for months. New news to me, since I told them my order for a cake. Two weeks ahead of time. They just didn't want to acknowledge me as an individual with feelings and needs. My brother even got to celebrate his birthday on mine again ousting my celebration of life. I just got little say in any of it. This year I purposely spent it alone so I wouldn't have to deal with a family who doesn't ever acknowledge my existance. It's like I don't count in my family for real. I feel like the bastard of the family since I was old enough to remember. I also did it so I wouldn't have to share my day with anyone but me. I baked a cake for myself with candles and all. I went to a favorite actor movie and fantasized while watching it. Real Fun! A lot of fun!

I went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for a free meal on my birthday alone. It was extremely crowded. They squeezed me in to the bar with a table and chair. I was glad it was only one and so were they. They weren't going to take any further reservations until they found out it was just me. They were packed. 30 to 45 min. waiting for tables for families. I got in immediately. The food was great. The music too. They even shut off the game on TV for me and played the really fun Mexican music on the intercom. I didn't drink as I was on medication for depression, but I had fun without alcohol. My best present was finding parking right up by the front door as some got disgusted and left. Guess they were tired of waiting. Hehe. Hurray for me though.

I can honestly say turning 38 is going to be great and not depressing like it has been in the past years. Well happy birthday to me. :o)

1 Comments | Post Feedback

Hi I'm a dollar store junkie. I love my dollar store right down the road from me. I buy birthday gifts & supplies, christmas gifts & supplies, school supplies for kids,coloring books, calendars, groceries, and cat food too for special occasians when I dont cook. I also used the store for wedding supplies, and home decoration, kitchen stuff, and baby stuff is also there.

My point is dollar stores are a good place to buy gifts too this season. Some people truly turn up their noses a this idea of dollar store gifts, but I say why not, unless we are millionaires or really wealthy. How can we possibly afford presents for large famillies. A large family is any family with a total of over three people in the family. This can be four, five six and up, so why forgo paying bills to get each an expensive present when you have dollar stores around that have just as good presents.  Well happy holidays.

1 Comments | Post Feedback

Living with depression is hard. A couple years ago I started the pills, because i couldn't get feeling better on my own. Many doctors and psychiatrists later I still am having problems with my depression. This winter is going to be bad on my depression. I can already feel my depression meds not working a miracle and making me somewhat unhappy. I got depressed when my mom had to go to work full-time while my dad sits on his butt due to a bum knee or so he says. He could get a job at Wal-Mart after being fired for not enoough sales and his age at the car lot he worked at for three years. I sympathize with him though as I have arthritic pain too, but I have an excuse too. I have a full disability that is permanent lifelong disability. He doesn't have one. He just has a temporary one. I am depressed because I can't stop thinking with my mom's health failing like it has been this past couple years. I feel she shouldn't bear the brunt of the bills. My dad is now collecting social security sitting on his butt so to speak. He has earned his social security, but i am depressed about it. can't get past it. As you can tell.

It is a quirk of mine to speak my mind as being Norwergian and German is bad enough. I have to have a speak my mind fetish. Weirdness runs amuk in me as my depression hits zinith. Hoping this winter I will be out of the hospital with no pain in my body is depressing me too as I need help on so many levels. Depression being number one and pain number two. I will probably help my depression and move south for good this winter. Hoping and praying can only go so far with my depression. Me being a Christian one has to think of others before my own needs such as my staff who help me on a daily basis, My mom who needs my emotional support such as it is, and my other family who loves me here and needs me too.

Well onto suppressing another cry fest in the making, Silly distractions is what I need to make my day today. Well wish me good luck with that I will need it.

Tanya

0 Comments | Post Feedback

0 Comments | Post Feedback